If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is
to go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the
person you believe to be the arsonist. If you run after
the person you suspect has burned your house, your house
will burn down while you are chasing him or her.
That is not wise. You must go back and put out the fire.
So when when you are angry, if you continue to interact
with or argue with the other person, if you try to punish her,
you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the
arsonist while everything goes up in flames.
--Thich Nhat Hanh